Friday, October 30, 2009

Cocktail Theology

(The post you are about to read is very silly. Also, it has a Holocaust joke in it. If either of these things bother you, don't read this.)

On a listserve I subscribe to, a week or two ago, someone mentioned an idea to make a "bacon chocolate milkshake." You fry up a couple pieces of bacon, blend it with the milk to get it good and chopped, then blend in the ice cream. Optional: adding the bacon grease.

I was pretty "meh" about the result. My curiosity was satisfied, but I don't think I'll do it again.

I then went into a chat room I frequently frequent, and told people about this not-very-good milkshake I was drinking. Someone suggested that 151 makes anything taste better, and my reply was, "I regret that you have put that idea in my head because now I have to try it."

The glass was about 1/3 empty at this point (or 2/3 full, depending on how you look at it), and I added 1 oz. of 151 to it. My first thought when tasting it was, "God is dead." The horror of this cocktail was Lovecraftian in nature: it's not that it tasted particularly bad, it just seemed like something that should not exist.

As I thought more about it, I decided that I was going to call it "Chocolate Holocaust," a name inspired by a Strongbad e-mail, but didn't have a recipe to go with it. It was something that made you lose your faith in the possiblity God might exist.

Because of this milkshake, there is no God.

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